


Spring Blooms Eternal

by WonderlandTrash



Category: Free!
Genre: Feudal Japan AU, Growing up and falling in love, M/M, warning - shit gets romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-24 23:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3788995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderlandTrash/pseuds/WonderlandTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“A young boy knelt on the ground, inspecting a fallen branch. He was dressed in fine silks; pinks that matched the soft hues of the sakura blossoms, and reds that mimicked the dazzling spectrum of the setting sun. He gingerly picked up the thin branch covered in pink buds and offered it to Haruka.”</p><p>Haruka would always wait for him, even if their moments together were as fleeting as the melting snow. A spring with Rin was worth the years of waiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spring Blooms Eternal

Spring was Earth’s first sigh of relief; it was finally breathing again after holding its breath for the winter months. The world could live again as snow melted away to join rushing rivers. Freshly bloomed flowers begged for their short lived beauty to be admired before they withered away in the summer heat. They lived as symbols for emotions, embodying so much meaning in so delicate a plant. Admiring them before their end was the least honour a human could do.

 _Hanami_ was extravagantly celebrated at the Nanase estate. Their gates would open to friends, family, and honoured guests, welcoming them all with lavish hospitality. The samurai families who served them would return for a rare week long respite. Feasting and prayers honoured the return of spring, but the most grand of festivities were the flower viewings. Every guest would admire the beautiful sakura grove the family meticulously cared for. They would have afternoon picnics and in the evening lanterns would be lit. The flowers would dance in the light the lanterns cast, as if brought to life by tiny spirits.

Haruka loved the welcoming of the warmer months. It meant he could finally swim in the pond again and escape the restraints winter instilled upon him. Spring meant breaking from the drills of family tutors, at least for the few weeks in which the flowers bloomed. The changing of seasons brought with it a renewed sense of freedom, unfortunately short lived due to the power the Nanase family held. As the only child of an influential _Daimyo_ Haruka had little freedom outside of the spring celebrations. He was constrained by his parent’s words, trapped by the honour he owed his family name. He denied them nothing and in exchange they gave him everything, except the simple freedom he desperately wanted.

The spring of Haruka’s twelfth year arrived exactly as every other had. The temperature was exceptionally warm; an early bloom was assured for the estate’s gardens. An early bloom meant complete chaos within the estate walls though. Families rushed to make it before the petals fell from the trees while servants tried to stay on top of their accelerated schedules. Haruka cared less about the hectic atmosphere that surrounded his home. It was much easier to slip away from the main house and seek refuge in the far recesses of the gardens.

While the main garden was set with bright lanterns and stone paths the outskirts had worn dirt paths, usually only tread by Haruka or a young guest couple seeking privacy. He had the misfortune to stumble across such a display once; stolen kisses and airy breathing, light and fresh like the season itself. They had been completely entranced in their own private world and did not notice they had been seen. Haruka had hidden behind a tree upon discovering the couple, not wanting to deal with how they could react after being caught. He was mostly upset that someone else had the audacity to intrude on his quiet garden. They stayed longer than he wanted, and by the time they finally left it was so dark that Haruka had a difficult time finding his way back. He hoped he would never have to witness such an intimate display again.

Haruka ventured out one evening, the air still warm in the setting sun. The rich blue fabric of his kimono settled softly against his skin while his long sleeves blew around in the slight breeze. Haruka missed the delicious spring air and gladly breathed his fill as he walked through the garden towards the outskirts of the sakura grove. He passed many servants tending to the gardens, ensuring they would be perfection for the viewing parties in a few days’ time. The flowers had barely started to bloom. Many were still curled in tight pink buds waiting for their moment to expose their beauty to the world. Many of the guests still settled into spare rooms which meant the outer gardens would be Haruka’s and his alone that night.

Haruka liked the way the dirt path felt beneath his feet. His sandals did not click against it like on the intricately laid stone paths. He walked quietly, as much a part of the gardens as the many trees that created it. He could even pretend to fade away if he wanted. Haruka sunk to the ground and sat with his back against one of the larger trees. He ignored the world around him, preferring to live in his own; a world with only the pond and the sakura grove, where only Haruka and the spring breeze and the nature around him existed. Haruka tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He would stay there unmoving, forever if he could.

The wind shifted suddenly. The branches rattled together under the strain of the wind before settling completely. The air hung silent like a spell cast upon the garden. Haruka stood up and shook the petals that had been ripped from the trees out of his hair and clothing.

“I hope the trees are okay. That gust was vicious,” a voice said, interrupting the solitude of Haruka’s quiet evening. He spun around quickly to face the direction the voice had come from. A young boy knelt on the ground, inspecting a fallen branch. He was dressed in fine silks; pinks that matched the soft hues of the sakura blossoms, and reds that mimicked the dazzling spectrum of the setting sun. He gingerly picked up the thin branch covered in pink buds and offered it to Haruka.

“You should put it in water and let it bloom. It would be sad to just let it wither away.” His voice was light but his eyes oddly sad as he looked at the fallen branch. Bright red eyes, Haruka noted, to match the shock of red hair he had. Haruka had never seen such a colour in hair before. His own was black, the same as everyone in his family. Haruka did not know what to think of the boy. He looked unnatural but decidedly beautiful.

“Who are you?” Haruka asked, brows furrowing as he warily observed the stranger.

“A guest,” he said simply, smile too mischievous for Haruka’s liking. The boy got off the ground and approached him. Haruka took a step back.   

“I would have seen you before.”

“Not necessarily! You’re family hosts new faces every year. Who’s to say I’m not a new face?” Haruka did not look impressed. He did not like the vagueness the boy offered in his responses.

“Geez fine I’m sorry. You don’t have to look so upset.” The boy teasingly dangled the branch above Haruka’s head. Petals fell, dotting Haruka’s dark hair with pink.

“I’m not upset,” Haruka said. He swatted the branch away. The boy reached forward and tried to pick the petals from Haruka’s hair but he was quick to swat his hand away too.

“Obviously,” the boy said as he tried to mask a chuckle. Haruka crossed his arms.

“Okay, okay. My name is Rin. A little delicate I know but I am definitely a boy!” 

“No family name?” Haruka asked skeptically as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Not important. For you just Rin is fine.” Rin’s smile was far too bright. It dazzled against the setting sun. Haruka had to turn his head, gaze falling instead on the sakura trees.

“I already know who you are.” Haruka was not surprised. He did not care. Of course Rin knew who he was, it was common enough information especially if he was a guest on his family’s estate. The Nanase family held a large amount of land and many farmers worked and lived upon it, the crops they harvested payment for the protection they were given. The estate was at the centre of it all, kept safe by loyal samurai families. One day everything would fall to Haruka. The land, and the people who lived upon it, they would all answer to Haruka and he would be forever bound by his duty. The pressures his future held… Haruka preferred to never think of them.

Rin circled around one of the trees, his hand dragging against the trunk. He still held onto the severed branch that matched so well with his clothing.

“Haru,” he called. Haruka was torn away from his thoughts. Rin’s tone was far too familiar. No one, not even his own parents addressed him so informally and it confused him. He caught Rin’s eyes but found no answer for the sparkle in them.  

“I think you’re going to accomplish great things. It’s just a feeling but there’s something amazing about you.”

Haruka felt his face grow hot. What was that expression in Rin’s eyes? He had never seen such a look before but the warmth that radiated from him was genuine. Haruka could not decide if he liked this or was afraid of it.

“Not really,” he responded quietly, eyes turning downcast. He could ignore Rin if he wanted. The sun had set as they spoke and if Haruka walked away now he could fade away into the dark and pretend he had never been troubled by the boy with the red hair and beautiful clothing.

“Well I think so.”  

When Haruka looked up Rin was much to close. Haruka could have reached out and brushed the stray strands of hair from Rin’s forehead if he pleased. His fingers twitched, but Haruka let his hands fall limp at his sides.

For the second time Rin offered the sakura branch to Haruka. Without a word and with tense fingers he accepted. Haruka held it gingerly as if he would accidently snap it.

“You better leave. It’s dark, your family will be missing you.”

“I could say the same, Haru.”

Haruka was not sure why he ran. Something was wrong with him, something he did not understand. His feet carried him away before he knew what it was he was doing, leaving Rin and the sakura grove behind.

~

Haruka laid on his side, blankets pulled tight around him. Sleep continuously evaded him. Every time he shut his eyes they would soon open, his gaze drawn to the same spot. Before he went to sleep Haruka had placed the sakura branch in a delicate vase and set it next to his futon. The little buds quickly bloomed after being placed in water. He remembered how sad Rin had looked when he saw the branch ripped from the tree. Haruka was not about to let them wither away.

Haruka pulled the vase closer. Even in the darkness the blossoms stood out, seeming to glow against the backdrop of night. He traced the petals with his fingertips, feeling their soft texture against his skin. How annoying it was to be kept awake by some silly flowers. He sighed and turned over in his bed. He ducked under his blankets, covering his head and preventing himself from opening his eyes to see the blossoms. He did his best to push the flowers and the boy who had given them to him to the back of his mind.

The thoughts still persisted though, even when Haruka squeezed his eyes shut. He did not want to think about Rin, or how his heart had felt different when Rin smiled at him.

~

Haruka snuck away in the late afternoon when the sun was at its brightest. He wanted to swim before he was expected back for the first night of feasting.

Haruka neatly folded his clothes as he disrobed, making sure to be careful to set them away from the water’s edge. He wanted nothing more than to throw his clothing off and immediately dive into the water but knew better than to risk dirtying his clothes. He placed them to the side and stepped into the water until he was completely submerged.

The pond was not stagnant, Haruka could feel the gentle current from the stream that ran through it. The stream surrounded most of the garden and pooled into the pond before continuing its way out beneath the water grate in the estate walls. The water eventually fed into a great river that many of the surrounding farms drew their water from.

Haruka had seen the river once before. He was out riding with his father, being shown the lands he would one day possess. The river looked so clean and cool, and Haruka felt his body stir with the urge to submerge himself in its crystal clear waters. His father denied him his request though and he rode back to the house with a heavy heart.

Water loved Haruka as much as he loved it. He floated in the pond and despite the early spring chill did not feel cold. He was simply content. He always thought back to the river. He could swim forever, following the river until he eventually reached the ocean. He would not mind living by the ocean, in a small shack, living off of the fish he caught and swimming every day for as long as he wanted. Haruka’s simple fantasies were just that though, fantasies he would never see come true. His future was to be molded into something greater, something he did not want.

“Can I swim with you?”

Haruka dove quickly, hoping that when he surfaced the owner of that familiar voice would be gone. Haruka peeked above the surface, only his face from the nose above visible, and of course Rin was still there. Rin looked at him with a hopeful twinkle in his eyes and Haruka returned it with scrutiny.

“Do what you want,” Haruka answered. What Rin did was no concern of his. Rin quickly began to strip. He left the many layers of his beautiful robes strewn about the grass. Haruka felt a twinge of jealousy. He wished he could be that carefree.

“It’s so cold!” Rin yelped as he dipped a foot into the pond. He took his time with wading in further until he was treading water next to Haruka.

“How are you not cold?”

Haruka shrugged and dove under again. He did not feel the cold. Haruka’s body showed no signs of discomfort whereas Rin was clearly forcing himself. He shivered, teeth chattering violently. He still smiled though as if he did not feel the water’s sharp sting.

“If you’re cold just get out,” Haruka said upon surfacing.

“Me c-cold? No way. I’m just not used to the wa-water yet. C’mon help me warm up, race me to the end of the p-pond!” Even with his chattering teeth Rin spoke so quickly it was dizzying. _So you are cold_ , Haruka wanted to quip but the words got caught in his throat.

“Too much effort,” he said softly. His words did not deter Rin.

“P-please? Just one race.”

Haruka sighed in exasperation. How far was this boy willing to push himself? Haruka could see the cold setting in. Rin’s swimming was sure to be sloppy, his movements stiff because of the cold water.

“One race but then you have to get out.”

“But what if I d-don’t want to?”

“You’re being a pain. Do you want to race or not?”

That was all the prodding Rin needed. Sure enough Haruka won their race and afterwards he immediately forced Rin to get out of the pond. Rin sat next the pond, drying off in the sun. Haruka tried to ignore him but he could feel his eyes on him, watching as he leisurely floated around the pond. He could not continue to swim with Rin watching and sadly pulled himself out of the pond.

Haruka wrapped himself in the blanket he had brought and sat a few feet away from Rin. The wind picked up then and Haruka could see Rin shivering, his bare skin still too wet to dress. Haruka shifted under his blanket, tried his hardest to not care about the shivering boy, and within seconds found himself inching closer to Rin.

“Haru?” Rin asked softly. His confusion was well placed. Haruka did not know why he moved either.

Haruka threw half of his blanket over Rin’s trembling shoulders. He sat close to him, legs nearly touching as he took care to wrap the blanket around them. Rin stopped shivering once inside their shared blanket cocoon.

“It’ll just be a pain if you get sick,” Haruka mumbled in explanation. He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Haruka wondered if Rin could see right through him. Judging from his smile, and the endearing expression he had in his eyes he did. Rin did not say anything though, and for that Haruka was grateful. The two boys sat at the edge of the pond together in silence, wrapped in the shared warmth of the blanket. The quiet intimacy of the moment was strangely comforting.

“Did you put the branch in water?” Rin asked after a time. Their shoulders touched as he looked over at Haruka.

Haruka nodded. “I did.”

“Did the flowers bloom?”

Haruka thought back to the vase in his room, and the flowers he had spent so long last night staring at. They had bloomed beautifully.

“They did.”

“I’m glad. They only bloom once a year, it would be sad if they never had the chance to be admired by someone.” Rin’s eyes were starting to water as he spoke. Haruka felt his fingers itch. He wanted to brush away any tears before they had the chance to fall. He curled his hand into a fist to prevent it from moving. Why did Rin’s tearful eyes make him want to act, to comfort?

“I’m happy I finally got to meet you Haru.”

“Finally?” Haruka tilted his head, confused. “What do you mean?”

Rin never had the time to answer. Haruka heard his name being called. He looked up at the sky and took account of the setting sun. With Rin he did not notice the passing time, and already an entire afternoon had ended. Haruka tore himself from Rin and quickly dressed. He wanted to say something, a good bye, but Rin had already left. There was no sign he had been there except for the neatly folded blanket, and the warmth Haruka felt from where their shoulders had touched underneath the blanket.

The following week passed in a blur of parties and feasts; long afternoons spent in the gardens and longer nights spent tossing and turning in restless dreams. Haruka was surprised to find how his parents expected his presence to be constant during those events, something that had not been necessary of him years prior. Before Haruka realized it the blossoms had vanished from the trees. Petals painted the ground pink while the trees unfurled their summer greens. The guests left. The estate fell back into routine. Haruka did not see Rin again.

~

Haruka sat quietly as he watched Makoto run through his practice drills. He could hear the slam of the wooden sword as Makoto repeatedly struck his target, but his eyes were unfocused, mind elsewhere.

Those two short days with Rin nearly half a year ago took up so much of Haruka’s thoughts. He still did not understand why he disappeared so suddenly, without saying so much as a good bye. He did not see him at any of the feasts or garden parties, and was left wondering where he had come from. Haruka was starting to believe he had imagined the entire thing, an elaborate fantasy to curb his loneliness. There was no way he would think up such a troublesome person though. Rin had to be real.

Makoto was dismissed from his training and he joined Haruka on the bench he was seated upon. He was used to Haruka’s silence and filled the space for him, speaking gently about how far he had come in his training, and how he was nervous about learning more advanced forms of swordplay. Haruka did not mind listening to Makoto talk. Lately though it was difficult for Haruka to follow Makoto’s mostly one sided conversation.

“Makoto, why do you think someone would leave without saying good bye?” Haruka asked suddenly, interrupting Makoto’s stream of words. If Makoto was surprised by the question, or the fact that Haruka was the one to ask, he did not show it. Instead he took his time in seriously pondering his answer.

“Well, maybe there was something stopping them? Or they were busy and did not get the chance to? Why do you think someone would leave without saying good bye?” he asked in return, turning the question on Haruka.

The question appeared simple but Haruka gave it as much thought as Makoto did. What would make him leave without- wait, he had left without a good bye. The night he met Rin he ran away from him. There was a bizarre feeling in his chest he had not recognized and needed to escape from. Even now he did not understand it.

“Maybe they were scared,” Haruka half whispered.

“Scared?”

Haruka shook his head. What he was saying sounded stupid. “I don’t know, never mind.”

“But I think you’re right. You can be scared of good byes. It means you have to leave that person, and you can’t be sure of when you’ll get to see them again. When it’s for a long time, good byes can be scary.”

A long time, almost half a year… It was not fair of Haruka to feel upset, yet he still did. A good bye would have been nice, even if he did have his reasons. Rushing into his life and then just as quickly leaving without warning, Haruka hated that. He could not bring himself to hate Rin for leaving though. He just hoped he would see him again.

~

Haruka’s first walk through the gardens the following spring was doused in cynical optimism. Haruka wanted to hope he would see Rin, but knew believing he would would only make his chest hurt more when he did not. His thoughts were torn but he walked in good spirits regardless.

When he saw a shock of red hair and intricate robes of pinks and rubies Haruka thought himself to be daydreaming. It was like seeing the ghost of a spring past; a happy memory half-dreamed in a haze of falling sakura blossoms. He chased after the figure and when he turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps Haruka felt his heart leap.

“You’re back,” Haruka said calmly though he felt breathless.

“I am but it’s only for _Hanami_.” Rin did his best to stay steady too but the way he practically bounced in place suggested the restless excitement he felt.

“You left so quickly, I didn’t think you would come back.” Haruka’s voice grew too soft, the yearlong loneliness he had felt apparent. He had been hurt, Rin could see that much. He crossed the gap between them and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Haruka’s ear, anything to have a reason to touch him. The surprise on Haruka’s face made Rin cough to draw attention away as he searched for an excuse for his actions.

“There was a petal in your hair,” Rin explained, a far stretch considering the blossoms had barely started to bloom and the path below was bare of any pink. 

“I see.” Rin thought he could discern disappointment in Haruka’s voice.

“Would you like to walk with me?” Rin quickly offered in consolation.

“I suppose.” Haruka accepted the invitation with little enthusiasm but his eyes betrayed him. They glimmered the same way for Rin as they did for water.

Rin raised him arm as if to offer it to Haruka but quickly changed his mind half way through, raising it all the way to run his hand through the hair at the back of his head. Haruka stared at him strangely and Rin laughed it off, leading Haruka through the trees.

“Why didn’t you say good bye?” Haruka asked as they strolled through the gardens.

“I wanted to,” Rin answered immediately, “but there was no time. And then whenever I thought about saying goodbye it hurt too much, knowing I wouldn’t see you for an entire year. Before I knew it my chance was gone and I had to return home.”

Rin smiled apologetically.

“Where is home?”

Rin’s smile faded at the question. “Far from here.”

“So you can only visit during the spring?”

“Yes.”

They were quiet after that. The finality of the amount of time they could ever spend together left Haruka with nothing to say. Spring would come and then Rin would leave. There was nothing Haruka could do to change that cycle.

“But that just means we have to take advantage of the time we have!” Rin declared. The conviction of Rin’s declaration strengthened Haruka’s own resolve. Rin was right. Instead of worrying over how little time they had it was better to use that time and make the best of it. Rin and Haruka only had spring to live their friendship.  

“I have so many sights I want to show you!” Rin grabbed Haruka’s wrist and willingly Haruka followed him.

Another perfect spring passed. Haruka’s experienced a whirlwind of late nights full of stargazing and secrets, wishes and dreams; while his days were for swimming and running away from responsibility. And finally Haruka received his good bye although now he wished he did not have to. The boys parted ways under a rainfall of petals with a promise to meet the following year.

Every year after they renewed the same promise, and every year after it was fulfilled. Spring became the happiest time of Haruka’s life. He could handle whatever his family demanded of him during the year because he knew spring would always come, and with it Rin’s smiling face.

The waiting was hard though. With waiting came worrying, and as the years stretched on Haruka worried more. Time meant growing up, and growing up always meant change. Haruka could see the most obvious and natural of changes in his own body. For the first few springs change had always been miniscule. They would both be taller; last year Rin had teased him because his height no longer matched Rin’s. Annoyingly enough Rin had grown taller than him. But other than height they still had childlike bodies.

This past year though had brought the biggest of changes to Haruka’s body. His baby fat melted away and his voice deepened. His mother cooed about what a handsome young man he had become, much to his annoyance. He could barely come to care about the changes in his body though. Instead Haruka wondered how much Rin changed. Had his body grown as much as his? What would his voice sound like now as he told Haruka all of his stories? Haruka wanted to hear him laugh most of all. Then he started to worry.

Would Rin’s feelings change with his body? Would he still want to be friends and spend _Hanami_ with him, or would he be focused on other things? Haruka’s thoughts flashed back to the young couple he had caught kissing in the gardens ages ago. Would Rin bring someone with him, someone else he wanted to spend the days with? Haruka shook his head, knocking the unpleasant thoughts away. No, not Rin. Spring was their season. Haruka would not share it with anyone else.  

~

The spring of Haruka’s seventeenth year was tinged with his anxiety. He was nervous to see Rin, afraid of how much he may have changed over the long summer.

He found Rin in the same spot he always did, sitting under a sakura tree in the garden outskirts. Haruka’s eyes widened. Growing up suited Rin. His body was hidden beneath the many layers of his clothing but his face had changed so much. Despite his sharp jawline and narrow eyes his expression was still boyishly innocent and his smile was the same; Haruka loved how his eyes would scrunch up when he smiled, the action taking up the whole of his face. He was always dazzling, too bright almost, but Haruka would not have him any other way. This older Rin though, he excited him in ways he did not completely understand.

“It’s good to see you Rin,” Haruka greeted stiffly, too politely.

Rin took no notice. Within seconds he was by Haruka’s side, arm around him in a friendly hug. “It’s been too long. I’ve missed you.”

Haruka froze. When Rin did not let go he tried to relax, bringing his own arms up to carefully hold his shoulders. “I missed you too.” 

Rin finally ended the hug but kept his hands on Haruka’s shoulders. Haruka looked away. Rin’s eyes were staring too intently, too openly.

“What are you doing?” Haruka asked, his tone accusatory. Rin’s eyes had that mischievous glint in them that made his stomach flip flop and his heart pound.

“Nothing, nothing. C’mon, I’ve been dying to swim with you again.” He did not resist as Rin lead him over to the pond, pulling at his wrist like an excited child.

Haruka gave Rin his privacy as they stripped down to swim. So much about them had changed over the past year. They were growing out of childhood. Haruka had seen it in his own body and was now hyperaware of it in Rin’s. They would have to stop some of the things they had done as children. While they were able to innocently huddle together underneath the blanket after swimming as children, doing so as adults would hold far too much implication. Haruka shivered, thinking of how Rin’s bare skin would feel against his. They would definitely have to stop.

Even with having to fold his clothes and set them aside Haruka was first in the water. He dove in, dousing his body completely. He nerves settled and he felt he could breathe again.

Haruka heard a plash and it only took seconds for Rin to swim over to his side. The pond felt so much smaller now, Rin closer than he had ever been. The water was dark but Haruka could see the hard slope of Rin’s shoulders above the surface, and the top of his chest before it disappeared into the water. Haruka gulped and swam backwards. Rin smirked and paddled forward. He teased Haruka without uttering a single word, his cocky smirk doing all the work for him.

They continued like this, Rin swimming after Haruka like some languid predator, and Haruka trying to escape even though he knew he was the prey who had already been caught, fate sealed from the moment he stepped foot into the pond.

Haruka made a break for the grassy shore. Rin grabbed his arm, pulling him back out to the middle of the pond. Haruka put up little resistance, allowing himself to dragged back in.

“You’re not leaving already are you?” Rin asked. He looked disappointed and Haruka faltered. He knew he was trying to run again just like how he had ran the first night he met Rin.

“I’m not sure,” Haruka said truthfully. Rin released his arm but made no movement to put space in between them.    

“You can if you want. It’s just strange. You always stay in longer than I do.” Rin was not accusatory. He was simply genuinely confused.

“I’m not feeling well.” Rin could not see through the lie.

“Your face does look red. A fever maybe?” he said upon close inspection of Haruka’s flushed cheeks.

“You should go rest if that’s the case.”

The concern Rin showed him sent a wave of guilt rushing through his chest. Haruka slowly swam to shore. His movements in the water felt stiff, and climbing out of the pond was a curiously painful experience. He did not want to lie to Rin but he was afraid again, afraid of getting to close. Haruka dried himself quickly and dressed. His clothing was in a disarray when he returned to the house.

Haruka left the blanket for Rin to use, but the gesture did nothing to ebb the guilt he felt.

This was the start of first spring Haruka tried to avoid Rin. He was being a coward, he knew it, but running was the easiest way for him to face his problems. Seeing Rin made his heart race, but being away from him made his chest ache. Worst of all was thinking about Rin and wondering what it was he thought of him. Everything Haruka felt was foreign, complicated, and he was unwilling to give it a name.

They did not say goodbye that spring. Haruka never regretted anything more in his life. 

A year never felt so long. With nothing but his duties and his guilt to distract him Haruka spent the year in self-torment. He did not even have Makoto there to steady him, to support him. Time moved on though as it always did, giving Haruka ages to reflect upon his feelings. He knew running away from Rin made his stomach twist. It was the worst thing he ever felt. It was also the second time he ran from Rin and his feelings. Maybe it was time to stop running.  

~

The spring of Haruka’s eighteenth year arrived exactly as every other had. The temperature was exceptionally warm; an early bloom was assured for the estate’s gardens. An underlying tension plagued the estate though. His father’s face was always dark and he spent day and night sending and receiving letters. Fewer guests arrived that year but Haruka took little notice. His father’s worries were not his.

Haruka’s skin buzzed with the energy of the season and he could not help the way he smiled when the sakura trees began to bloom. The tiny buds were a sign he would see Rin again and soon. He was finally going to stop running.

It was mid-afternoon when he went out, running through the garden’s in search of Rin. He was breathless when he found him, cheeks pink from the exertion.

A young man knelt on the ground. He was dressed in fine silks; pinks that matched the soft hues of the sakura blossoms, and reds that mimicked the dazzling spectrum of the setting sun. His hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck and held in place with an ornate pin. Haruka finally realized just how beautiful he was.

“Haru,” Rin called. He continued to kneel in front of the tree as if in solemn prayer. Haruka approached and stood behind Rin. His hands trembled.   

“There’s something I need to talk to you about. Can you meet me here tonight?” Haruka did not like how unsure Rin’s voice sounded, or the way he did not turn to look at him.

“We can talk now…” Haruka suggested. He was tired of waiting. He wanted to be with Rin, he wanted him to turn around so he could see his face. He placed a hand on Rin’s shoulder but it was immediately shrugged off.

“Not yet. I just… I need a little longer to gather my thoughts.”

Haruka backed away. His hands fell limp. “I’ll just go then.”

He did not want to go. Rin was acting strange and Haruka wanted to know why. When Rin did not answer him though Haruka had no idea of what to do. He reached out but his hand fell short. Instead he walked away. He went exactly the way he came, leaving Rin to his thoughts.

Haruka was anxious when he returned late that night. He stole away during the welcoming feast, claiming a headache plagued him and he needed to sleep. He carried a lantern with him, lighting his way to the outer edges of the grove. The lantern was barely needed though. The moon and the stars were exceedingly bright, like millions of lanterns in their own right. It was still warm out, and the breeze was gentle. The air had never felt sweeter; the god’s own ambrosia would taste no different. If only his emotions were as peaceful as the night.

Rin was waiting for him. He sat on a stone bench, hands neatly folded on his lap. He rose to great Haruka.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he started. “I just don’t know where to begin.”

Rin’s hand was at the back of his head, nervously running through his hair. The pin from earlier was gone, his hair hanging loose around his face. Haruka set the lantern on the bench and sat next to it. He looked up at Rin.

“Start at the beginning of what you want to say.”

Rin’s chuckle was not as full as his usual laugh. “It’s not that easy.”

“It is. You’re just talking to me.”

“That’s why it’s so difficult.” Rin groaned and dropped to the bench. He tilted his head back, eyes following the petals that danced above them in the breeze. Haruka watched his face as Rin slowly relaxed.

“Here it goes then.” Rin took a deep breath and Haruka prepared himself, waiting for Rin to say the words he dreaded.

“I’m not human.” Rin stared at Haruka, his eyes begging him to not be angry.

“That’s it?” he asked nonchalantly.

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’?” Rin exclaimed in confusion. “I’ve been killing myself over how to tell you, and all you say is ‘that’s it’?”

Haruka shrugged.

Rin crossed his arms. “You’re one weird guy.”

“I thought you were going to tell me you no longer wanted to be friends. This is a relief.” Haruka’s smile was small but his eyes sparkled in the dim light of the lantern.

“Why would you think that?” Rin asked seriously. He moved closer to Haruka, their knees touched lightly.

“We’re growing up. I thought you’d lose interest in me and move on,” Haruka’s voice trembled slightly.

“Haru…” Rin hesitated but his hand still moved, gently taking a hold of Haruka’s.

“I would never lose interest in you. Not now, not in one hundred lifetimes.” Rin’s hand was warm against Haruka’s cool skin. He could the see the colour in Rin’s face. He could only guess it was because of how embarrassed he must have been making this confession.

“Can you live that long?”

“I’m a spirit Haru. I’ve lived in your garden for hundreds of years already.”

“You’ve always been here? Why did you never visit during the year then?” Haruka asked urgently. Rin’s shoulders sagged under the many layers of his clothing.

“I wish I could. You don’t know how much it hurts being so close, to be able to see and hear you but unable to move; unable to be with you.” Haruka’s eyes widened and he sat up straight. Rin picked a blossom from the tree above and delicately held it in the palm of his hand. Even in the dark the pink was beautiful against his pale skin.

“I can only take a physical form during the spring, when the flowers are in bloom.” The wind swept the blossom from his hand. Haruka reached out to catch it but it slipped through his fingers. His arm lingered in the air until the blossom faded from sight.

“So when the petals have all fallen, you have to leave,” Haruka sadly surmised. 

“Yes. I lose my physical form. But I can still hear and see you whenever you’re in the garden! It isn’t the same but it helps get me through the year.”  

They sat in comfortable silence. The flame in the lantern flickered, casting uneven shadows about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Was Haruka’s final, quiet question.

“I wanted to last spring. Seeing you all grown, I didn’t want to keep waiting.” Rin traced small circles into the back of Haruka’s hand with his thumb. He looked up as he continued to speak.

“You were avoiding me though. That alone worried me so I thought trying to tell you would only make things worse.”

Haruka held Rin’s hand tighter. The feeling of guilt had returned. He hated how his chest constricted and how painfully his stomach twisted.

“I was scared too,” Haruka whispered. “I didn’t know how to act around you, feeling the way I felt. How I still feel.”

“Haru?” Rin questioned softly, hopefully. He turned his gaze back on him.

“I-”

A gust ripped through the grove. The trees creaked under the strain. Haruka moved to cover the lantern so it would not be extinguished in the wind. Rin stood up and went over to the closest tree. He placed a hand on the trunk.

“Do you worry about the trees?” Haruka wondered aloud as the wind passed. Rin nodded and looked up into the branches.

“I do. My existence is tied to theirs after all.”

Haruka left the stone bench and inspected the tree with Rin. He placed a hand on the trunk but to him all he felt was the smooth bark. He wondered if Rin could feel more than that, if he could feel the life contained in the tree. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Rin smiling fondly.

“How do they always manage to cling to your hair?” Rin laughed. He lifted his hand and ran it through Haruka’s hair, brushing away the petals that clung to the dark strands. Haruka leaned into the touch. Rin was so close, their faces inches away. He held Rin’s arm gently and leaned forward to close the small gap between them. The last thing he saw before closing his eyes was the too soft expression in Rin’s eyes and the bittersweet turn of his lips.

Haruka did not expect to be met with empty space. Rin stepped back at the last second, leaving Haruka standing alone, arm still raised from where he had held onto Rin.

“Rin?” Haruka worried now. His eyebrows furrowed together and his lips were pulled into a small frown.

Rin shook his head. “I can’t do this to you.”

“What do you mean? I wanted to- I want to-”

“And I do too Haru, I-” Rin paused, sucking in a deep breath, composing himself before continuing.

“I’ve loved you for such a long time. But…” Rin trailed off. He ran his hands through his hair again, this time pulling at the bright strands.

“But?” Haruka pressed impatiently.

“But spring is short! Our time together is short! How can I make you wait an entire year just to spend a week with me? You deserve more, someone who can always be there for you.” Rin sounded so frustrated with himself that it nearly broke Haruka’s heart.   

“I want you though.” Haruka stepped forward and clamped his hand around Rin’s wrist. Rin jumped like he had been burned and tried to pull away. Haruka held his wrist tightly.

“I would wait years for you, even for these short moments together. A spring with you Rin is always worth the year of waiting.” Rin had never heard Haruka sound so desperate. He needed Rin to understand everything he felt, even if it meant having to articulate the depths of his heart and move away from the comfortable indifference he once knew.

“How can you be so sure? Years from now, or even a year, who is to say you won’t feel differently?”

“Because right now what I know, is that I love you.”

The kiss that followed was clumsy at best. Haruka pulled bridged the space between them and caught Rin completely off guard with both his words and actions. He fisted his hands into the fabric of Rin’s kimono and pulled him forward. Their lips pressed together and while it was rushed and messy it was more than Haruka could have ever hoped for. Rin placed his hands on either side of Haruka’s face and broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against Haruka’s and breathed deeply. Even with the smile big enough to reach his eyes Haruka could see the single tear that slid down Rin’s cheek, and how his eyes watered, threatening to spill more. Haruka kissed the tear away and brushed his nose against Rin’s.

“I’ve been around for a long time and this is by far the happiest I’ve ever been.” Rin hiccupped and Haruka kissed his cheeks, his nose, and under his eyes to prevent more tears from falling. Rin laughed as Haruka kissed him and he decided then that no better sound existed.

Rin’s hand lowered from Haruka’s face, slowly trailing across his skin to tangle in the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He tilted Haruka’s head back slightly, just enough to reveal the pale of his throat and stop him from looking down to hide the glimmer in his eyes.

“If it makes you feel better this is the happiest I’ve ever been too,” Haruka said. His warm breath fanned against Rin’s lips, enticing the spirit to finally stop holding back.

Haruka gasped as Rin backed him into the closest sakura tree. Under the moonlit canopy pink they exchanged stolen kisses, each one a promise of another spring to come and another year they would meet. The garden was silent save for the sounds of their breathing; all short gasps and sharp intakes of breath, light and airy like the season itself.

They lost track of time and when they parted the moon was high overhead. Rin held Haruka by his hips, thumbing nonsensical patterns into the fabric of his clothing. Even though he was layers away from bare skin Haruka found the absent minded action unbearably sensual. His own hands were playing with Rin’s hair. Their foreheads pressed together as they recovered their breath.

“I wish this moment never had to end,” Rin murmured against Haruka’s lips. He could feel Rin’s smile, and left a single kiss on his lips. He turned his head and pressed his mouth to Rin’s ear.       

“Well, the night is not over yet, and spring has just begun…” Haruka’s whisper was cautious but filled with so much suggestion that Rin’s face went red.

“What are you suggesting?”

Haruka grinned and had to stop himself from playfully rolling his eyes at Rin. He straightened Rin’s hair and grabbed his hand.

“Follow me.”

The lantern lit their path as they followed it back to the house. They still stumbled in the dark but held onto each other for support, giggling like innocent children whenever one bumped into the other or tripped over a stray stone. Haruka did not release Rin’s hand, even as he blew out the lantern upon reaching the main building.

The house was dark save for the few windows dimly lit with candlelight. The feast must have ended hours ago and many of the guests already gone to sleep. Haruka took care in sliding open the door, making sure to stay as quiet as he could. He motioned for Rin to step inside, but pressed a finger to his lips in warning. Haruka slid the door back into place and grabbed Rin’s hand again. They were alone in the dark hall so Rin took the opportunity to kiss Haruka once more, grinning smugly as they parted. Haruka scowled and dragged him forward, forcing him to follow closely in the tight hallway.

The moved slowly. Haruka had them walking on tiptoes and was careful to check around every corner before continuing. Rin did his best to keep quiet but Haruka could hear his soft laughter every time he paused to look around a corner.

 They turned down a new hall and heard the shuffling of movement and hushed whispers speaking in dark tones. Haruka immediately recognized the rough voice of his father. He shoved Rin into an empty nearby room and slid the door closed behind them. It was more of a storage room than anything and they pressed tightly together. Rin yelped as his back pressed into the sharp corner of a table and Haruka covered his mouth with his hand.

“Quiet,” he hissed at Rin.

They waited in the dark, listening for the voices outside to quiet and for the footfalls to cease their echoes. When he was sure they were alone Haruka released his hand from Rin’s mouth. Rin doubled over in silent laughter, his head pressed to Haruka’s shoulder as he tried to keep his voice silent.

“What’s so funny?” Haruka asked sharply. Rin wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and fixed Haruka with a grin.

“I guess I should have told you earlier.”

“Told me what?”

Rin paused and almost started to laugh again.

“I can chose who I make myself visible to. Don’t be angry, I know I should have said something but you were just too cute.”

Haruka’s small mouth turned in a pout. “Not really.”

“Yes really. Trying to sneak around, never letting go of my hand, it was adorable.”

“Stop talking.” Haruka peeked his head out from the door. The hall was empty. He took Rin’s hand and they walked down the hall, this time with reckless purpose. Without having to worry about sneaking Rin into the house they quickly made it to Haruka’s room.  

Moonlight filtered in through the panels of Haruka’s window. He would have preferred complete darkness. He was so sure of what he wanted in the garden, but now he felt slight apprehension. He did not mean to be nervous as he crossed into his room and sat on the edge of his low mattress but Rin made his nerves stir.

“You’re not angry are you?” Rin asked. He slid unto the bed, seating himself behind Haruka. His arms wrapped around Haruka’s waist and Haruka tried to shrug the question away.

“Any other abilities you’re hiding from me?”

“I can chose what age I appear as?” Rin offered. He nuzzled the back of Haruka’s neck, lightly mouthing at the skin he exposed as he pushed his collar down.

“Do you use that to hide the fact you’re actually really old?” Haruka teased. He could feel Rin smile against his skin, and was surprised by the light nip he received.

“I’m ageless. Immortal. Well, almost.”

“Almost?” Haruka queried.

“Not important.” Rin turned Haruka in his arms so they faced one another. He continued to kiss along his neck, and up his jawline until he reached Haruka’s lips.

“You’re all that matters right now.”

“Only right now?”

Rin rolled his eyes. “You’re all that ever matters Haru.”

“Good.” Haruka let Rin kiss him without any further teasing. His nerves vanished as Rin eased him along. He could barely remember why he had been nervous. It was only Rin and his feelings were just as strong as Haruka’s. All the emotions from the garden came rushing back and Haruka eagerly pressed into the kiss.

His hands trailed up Rin’s back. The smooth material of his clothes was silky to the touch but he wanted to feel the skin beneath. He remembered the glimpses of Rin’s body he had seen last spring. They fueled his desire as Haruka pulled open the neck of Rin’s kimono. He loosened the many layers from the obi and dipped his hands under the fabric when it hung open invitingly. Rin groaned into the kiss as Haruka moved his hands across his chest, touching ever bit of skin he could reach. He pushed the clothing down Rin’s shoulders and reached around to feel the thought muscles of his back.

Rin suddenly broke the kiss and grabbed both of Haruka’s hands. He lowered himself onto the mattress, pulling Haruka on top of him. Haruka straddled Rin’s thighs, legs on either side of him. Rin’s hands were at his waist, undoing the light blue obi he wore. The belt was flung to the side. Haruka shivered as Rin pulled his clothing open, allowing the fabric to fall away completely from his skin. Rin’s eyes widened as he saw how quickly Haruka had become aroused.

Not one to be outdone Haruka made quick work of Rin’s sash. He pulled the kimono open, evening their states of undress.

Haruka stared openly at Rin, something he had been afraid of doing the previous spring. He was glad for the moonlight now. Rin’s disheveled state was more than perfect. His hair fanned out across his pillow and the exposed hard edges of his body tensed under his touch. Rin returned his stare, nothing but wonder and admiration in his face.  

“It was hard for me not to stare last year,” Rin admitted shyly. He gripped Haruka’s hips, rubbing soft circles against is skin with his thumbs. Haruka squirmed against the touch. It felt even better now that Rin could touch his skin.

“I think you did regardless.” Haruka remembered the glint in Rin’s eyes. He did not innocently suggest that swim. Haruka shifted his hips forward, brushing against Rin’s just slightly. Rin gasped and Haruka bit down on his lip to hold his voice back.

“You got me.” Rin’s hands slid down Haruka’s thighs. He brushed against the sensitive skin, watching Haruka’s face for every little reaction. He loved that about Haruka, how his face usually so impassive would be given away by his eyes. Rin could learn all he needed from just staring into the bright blue of his eyes.

“But then you got out, and I thought I had scared you away.” He gripped Haruka’s legs tightly, pulling him further up on his hips. Their erections brushed together and Rin was disappointed when Haruka continued to withhold his voice.

“I was only scared-” Haruka paused, breathing deeply as Rin held them together in his hand, “that you wouldn’t want me.”

Rin stroked them together. He continued to watch Haruka’s face. He wanted to see him come undone, to break make his cool expression hot with longing.

“I do, I do so much,” Rin moaned. They moved together, hips thrusting against each other as Rin continued to stroke their erections. Haruka could not conceal the steady increase in his breath, nor the soft satisfied gasp he released when he came. Rin’s heated moans were louder as he released, but they only served to push Haruka over the edge.

Rin would have been disappointed he was so quiet if his face had not had complete bliss displayed upon it. Haruka’s eyes slipped closed and he tilted his head back, legs tensing around Rin’s hips. His quiet pleasure was just another part of him though. Rin loved the flushed colour his cheeks took on as he lowered himself down, cuddling up to Rin to soak in the afterglow. Rin ran his fingers along Haruka’s spine, gently touching the too sensitive skin. Haruka wiggled against him, humming contently at the touch.

Haruka was not still for long though. He sat up and played his Rin’s hands, fingers ghosting over every knuckle and line in his palm.

“What are you doing?” Rin asked sweetly. Haruka released his hand. He watched in wonder as Haruka traced every line of his body, starting at his neck then running down his chest, feeling along his hip before touching the muscles at his thighs and calves. Rin shivered at the light touches. They were innocent, curious, and had no right to be as sensual as they were.

“Memorizing,” Haruka answered simply. His eyes followed where his hand went, learning Rin’s body all over again through touch and sight. He reached Rin’s feet then started all again, trailing up his body instead of down. He spent the longest time on his face. He felt inch of skin, fingers gently touching his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids. His thumb lingered over his mouth. He rubbed his lips, Rin kissed the pad of his finger tip.

“I love you so much,” Rin hummed against Haruka’s thumb. He sighed as Haruka kissed him. It was too slow, but Rin figured Haruka was continuing in his memorization, committing the feel of his lips to memory. Haruka’s body betrayed him though. His movements stopped and he went still against Rin’s chest. His breathing deepened and he drifted off to sleep. Rin shut his eyes and thought how lucky he was as he joined him.  

~

Haruka tossed in his sleep. He sought out Rin’s body, desperately clinging to him and his comforting warmth. Rin was awake; he was never a heavy sleeper. He watched with deep concern as Haruka tossed. Rin brushed the hair away from his eyes. His forehead was warm, his face twisted into a grimace.

_His parents were bidding him goodbye, why he did not know. Rin stood with them like a welcome member of their family. They all looked so happy so why did they wear funeral attire?_

Haruka let out a choked sob.

“Haru?”

_Haruka sat atop of horse, saddled as if for a long journey. He was all alone. Everyone from the estate stood behind Rin and his parents. They had come to see him off._

Rin called but he did not stir. Haruka was too lost in his dreams, his sleep too deep to wake.

_His horse started at a slow walk. Rin, years younger now, guided it. He had the reins in his hand and walked beside Haruka. He was so short next to the horse._

_“This is for the best Haru. You can finally swim in the river now! You can even live by the ocean like you’ve always wanted.”_

_Haruka tilted his head. “But I don’t want that anymore. I want to stay here.”_

_Was he even going on a journey? It looked like it but he never remembered preparing for it._

_“You can’t. You have to go.”_

_He looked back but he was already so far away. The estate was a tiny point in the distance. It looked so bright though, it shone red and yellow against the backdrop of night._

_“Rin?”_

_But Rin was nowhere to be seen._

Haruka’s eyes slowly opened. Rin was here though, right beneath him.

“You’re here?” his voice was still rough with sleep.

“Of course I am.”

Haruka pushed himself off from Rin and sat up. He blinked wearily, eyes still half closed. He ran his hands across Rin’s chest, up his neck, and finally stopped at his face. His eyes came into focus, adjusting to the dark.

“You are,” he sighed in relief. He dropped back onto Rin’s chest. Rin gathered him in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Did you think I was going to leave you?

“I think so, but I don’t know why.”

“It must have just been a dream. Go back to sleep Haru,” Rin mumbled affectionately. 

Haruka was not so sure. Laying in his bed with Rin felt like the dream. He feared something was going to truly wake him up, and his dream would end and Rin would truly vanish.

~

Haruka thought he was still dreaming when he heard the strangled intake of air. He knew he was awake when he heard the metallic clatter, followed by the dull thump of something hitting the floor.

It was a nightmare he awoke to.

At the foot of his bed was a body dressed in black. The body was face down on Haruka’s mattress, arms stretched forward. Its blood was rapidly soaking into the sheets, dying the white linens red. Haruka kicked them away and drew his knees to his chest. Rin stood behind the body. In his right hand was a bloodied dagger. Rin’s face was pale; it reflected the fear and confusion that Haruka felt.

“He- he had a knife and he was coming at you and I didn’t think and I- I-” Rin’s quickly spoken words came out in stammers.

“I killed him.”

Haruka shivered violently as the night air pricked his skin. The knife the assassin had dropped glinted under the moonlit. He brushed his hand against his throat. If Rin had not acted something sharper would have sliced his skin.

The air in the room was heavy; the scent of heat and blood mingled thickly together. Haruka’s heart pounded in his ears. His muscles coiled together tightly. He could not think, could not process the attempt that had been made on his life. The mattress dipped beside him. Rin had set the dagger down and sat next to Haruka. He could see the tears starting to well in Rin’s eyes. His hands trembled as he gripped Haruka’s shoulders, checking his bare skin for injury.

A single scream shot through the silence. It was joined by panicked yells and the loud crash of frantic footfalls. The silhouette of a struggle between two people could be seen just beyond the door. The entire estate was awake and something was very wrong.

No explanations were needed as Rin pulled Haruka from his bed and stated gathering the clothes strewn about the room. He helped him dress but Rin’s fumbling hands did nothing but hinder Haruka. He appreciated Rin’s help none the less. His presence was calming.

They left Haruka’s room but not without first grabbing the knives. Outside of the quiet din of the room hell was clawing itself from the depths of the earth.

Time moved in double motion. Guests and servants ran around, all in various states of dress. They were running from the assassins in black. The assassins were attacking everyone, making no discrimination of age or sex. There was a body at Haruka’s feet. Blood pooled on the floor, staining the hem of his kimono red. Haruka clapped a hand to his mouth. Rin steered him in the opposite direction, ushering him away from the sight.

There seemed to be bodies around every corner they turned. They stepped over corpses; some were face down, others stared ahead with pained anguish on their still faces. Haruka shut his eyes but he could not block out the screams. If they stayed still for too long they would only be added to the piles of the dead.

“This way,” he called to Rin. There was a servant’s door built into the wall. Even in the dark Haruka could see the blood splattered upon the wooden panels. A body was slumped over next to it. They slipped through the small door and ducked into the low hallway.

“This goes to the kitchens. From there we can-”    

They smelled the fire before they ever saw it. The stench of smoke pricked Haruka’s nose. Thick, dark clouds filled the hall, hovering overhead and stinging their eyes. Haruka coughed loudly and Rin pulled him to the floor, out of the smoke’s reach. Rin gripped Haruka’s hand tightly. He brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“I’m going to get you out of here alive. Just stay low and keep your mouth covered.” Rin’s calm urgency was reassuring and Haruka hesitantly nodded along. They crawled down the back hall. The screams became faint, farther away, but the soft crackle of burning wood lingered threateningly overhead.

Haruka pressed his ear to the door separating the hall and the kitchen. He heard nothing from the other side, a welcome sign. They slid the door open and found the kitchen empty. It was slowly filling with dark smoke and they stayed closed to the ground. The stone floor was cool against Haruka’s hands. The fire was only just reaching this part of the house.

“There’s a back door,” Haruka announced. He stepped around Rin and pulled him up after him. Haruka unlocked the heavy wooden door. It slid open with an aged creak.

The night air remained still despite the chaos raging inside. They could almost hear the sound of crickets amongst the distant screams. Haruka coughed, clearing his lungs as Rin rubbed his back. The destruction was only starting to spread outside. People were starting to escape the burning house, only to run into the welcome blades of a group of their attackers. Haruka pulled Rin behind a tree as a man was cut down a short distance from them.

They huddled together but Haruka had another coughing fit, alerting the attacker of their presence. Rin swore under his breath and turned the dagger in his hand. Haruka held his own but it felt heavy in his grip. Rin looked to Haruka and motioned with his head. Haruka nodded and waited as Rin snuck around the side of the tree. Haruka stepped out from behind the tree and raised his dagger. The assassin lift his sword and started to run towards him. He did not get far. Rin’s dagger sliced through his neck before he could as much as cry out.

“Let’s go!” Rin yelled as he grabbed Haruka’s wrist. His fingers were sticky with blood. All they could do was run, avoiding each person whether they were friend or foe.

The air was hot and dry. The closer they ran to the house the easier it was to feel. They never knew where the fire started but the entire house had gone up in flames. The night was alight with the screams of people trapped inside and of the ones being slaughtered outside. The fire was too bright to watch but Haruka could not look away as his home burned. His eyes watered from the intensity of the heat but the tears that spilled were from sadness, and anger. Rin had to physically tear him away from where he stood rooted to the ground.

“You have to leave. Haru you can’t stay here!”

“I can’t? What about you?” Haruka yelled in answer.

“I’ll be fine. You’ll be killed though! You need to leave now.” He pulled Haruka towards the back gate, away from the horror in front of them.      

“What if the gardens burn? What happens to you?”

The colour drained from Rin’s face. The fire was spreading. It would soon consume the gardens too. There was no possible way anything would escape the flames once the first tree caught.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re lying!” Haruka screamed. He wrenched himself free of Rin’s grasp and sprinted towards the gardens. Rin ran after, yelling Haruka’s name the entire way. He caught him and wrapped his arms around his body. He held him, preventing him from running any further. Haruka squirmed and pushed against Rin, but Rin was stronger. He went limp.

“What happens if the trees burn?” Haruka’s voice was ice. Rin shook his head.

“I don’t know.”

“Then I’m not leaving.”

“Yes you are,” Rin answered softly, returning stubbornness with affection. He brushed the tears from Haruka’s eyes. Haruka looked down, burying his face into Rin’s shoulder. He knew Rin was crying too.

The steady thud of hooves on a dirt path joined the sound of screams and fire. Someone had made it to the stables and released the horses.

“No I’m not.”

Rin groaned. He wanted to shake Haruka, and put sense back into his head. “Yes you are! This is not the time to be-”

“Haru!?” The pair simultaneously turned their heads. Haruka knew that voice all too well and Rin recognized it from watching Haruka play with his friend in the gardens.

“Makoto!” Rin yelled. He knew he would not be able to make Haruka leave on his own. He needed help. He would force Haruka to leave if it meant saving his life.

“Makoto!” Rin yelled again, ignoring the look of utter betrayal on Haruka’s face.

Makoto spotted Haruka and urged his horse into a gallop. He came to a quick stop in front of him, his horse sliding on the dirt path. He offered his hand to pull Haruka onto the horse. It was covered in blood. Makoto had a sword sheathed at his side.

“I thought I would be too late. We have to leave Haru.” Makoto’s sweet voice was shaken from his experiences that night. Haruka did not want to think about the number of people Makoto had cut down in defence with the sword at his side.

Haruka shook his head and backed away. Rin no longer held him.

“I can’t. I can’t leave without him.”

“Without who? Haru they’re probably already-”

“Without Rin! He’s right here can’t you see him?” Haruka cut off Makoto’s words in his desperation. He was alone though. Makoto shook his head, his gaze sympathetic.

“Haru, there’s no one- We don’t have time.”

Haruka looked around frantically. He could not see Rin.  

“Rin! Rin!?”

“Haru we’re leaving.” Makoto pulled Haruka onto the horse. He held him tightly to his chest, trying to restrain him from kicking and flailing. Makoto lifted the reins and nudged the horse forward. Haruka screamed.

“No, stop! We can’t leave him! Makoto the trees, we can’t let the trees burn! Makoto!”

Makoto had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying. This was not the Haruka he knew. He had never sounded so vulnerable and afraid, never screamed like a part of him was being destroyed.

Haruka looked back. Rin was standing before the burning hell. He tried to smile but Haruka could see the tears streaming down his face.

“Rin! Rin!” His voice echoed across the fields that surrounded the estate. He continued to struggle against Makoto, but the scene was already falling behind them.

Haruka yelled until his throat turned raw and his tears dried to his face. Eventually he grew too tired to fight and allowed the steady beat of Makoto’s heart to lull him to sleep.   

~

 A lone rider slowed his horse to a stop. He reached his destination; the charred remains of the once grand Nanase estate. It still held signs of its former strength and beauty; high walls that still stood and ornate gates that had rusted from age and ill maintenance. The main house though was all but gone. The fire had completely demolished it, burning the old building and all of the riches that had been inside. 

The rider dismounted and tied his horse’s reins to the gate. He patted the loyal animal and took off to explore the familiar, changed landscape. He climbed through the rubble, turning over stones here and there. Nothing was as he remembered. He could not even find where his room had once been. Everything turned to grey ash: the buildings, the relics of his childhood, the bodies… Everything was grey, lifeless.

Remarkable though was the red spider lilies that bloomed amidst the decay. They grew where nothing should have been able to grow, marking the many graves the ruins embodied. Life from death, the rebirth of spring; their delicate petals gave the rider hope.

He paid his respects but the ruined house was not the reason he made his journey on so peaceful a spring day.

He followed familiar paths to where the gardens had once been. The stones were overgrown with weeds and ivy curled around the benches. Nature was reclaiming its land. New life was growing, many stunning flowers were in bloom, but it was not the life the rider desired. He did not see a single sakura tree.  

He lowered the hood of his cloak and let the warm breeze rustle hid dark hair. Birds sang overhead, their songs drifting on the wind. Another song mingled with theirs, the sad song of lonely tears. The rider picked his way through the growth, following the sound of crying to what had once been the outskirts of the gardens. It was just as overgrown as the main gardens, even more so because the dirt paths could no longer be seen. That is when he found what he had come looking for.

Across his pound was a single sakura tree that had escaped the ravages of the fire. It was small and alone but it was the most breathtaking bloom he had ever seen.

A lonely little boy sat beneath it. He was dressed in dull reds, like dried blood on dirt, and washed out pinks that mirrored old, fallen cherry blossoms. He hugged his knees to his chest and cried loudly.

He looked up as the rider approached. A more stunned, beautiful smile had never existed.

“Haru?”

The recognition flashed across his face, as did the many years Haruka had spent away. The child aged into a young man and ran towards Haruka. He gathered him into a hug, tears wetting Haruka’s cheek.

“I’m home Rin.”

The End

 

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution for Sakurathon. Thank you very much for sticking through all the way to the end! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing.  
> From Wikipedia:  
> Hanami – The Japanese traditional custom of enjoying the transient beauty of flowers. Often celebrated with flower viewing parties.  
> Daimyo – Subordinate only to the shogun, daimyo were the most powerful feudal rulers from the 10th century to the middle 19th century in Japan.


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